Bonfire Ball:
An Official Introduction
by Got Goggz
Like all great inventionz, it's a bit much to say that one man or woman did all the work. Bonfire Ball is truly the brain-child of not only the Got Goggz crew, but our close friendz, our familiez, and, of course, a group of crazy Australianz we met up with in Brazil during 2014's Cupa de Mundo (...yes, it's under development for over a decade...) Cupa de Mundo! Those fuckers added the "Bonfire" to Bonfire Ball. We are forever grateful.
It's an honor and a pleasure to spell out the specificationz, rulez, and associated conceptz of the great game for the first time. Like most great thingz, Bonfire Ball is simultaneously simple and complex. Like all great pastimez, Bonfire Ball began in a backyard but will likely end up as a globally televised mega-event in the yearz to come.
Until then, be sure to have your fun! Here's the breakdown:
Essential Equipment
Two Barrelz
One Football
An Open Space
Optional Equipment
Beer or Liquored Beverage of Choice
Football Field Goal
Bonfire Ball Cheerleaderz
Layout
Essentially, each barrel is set opposite the other. Bonfire Ball original specificationz are that the barrels are 13 yardz apart.
Preferably, there will be a clay and/or dirt mound in front of each barrel with an indented hole just before the mound. In other wordz, dig out a bit of dirt and pile it up in front of each barrel.
Game
At least two playerz are required for a match. Teams of equal number can be formed; each player would take a turn in the same order for each round (…like a batting order in baseball…)
For our purposez here, I will describe the game as a head-to-head, one-on-one game.
The object of the game is to throw your football and strike the opponent's barrel, earning points for different contactz. Put simply, the worst thing that can happen is that a player throws the ball and wholly misses the barrel -- ending their turn with no pointz gained.
Rulez
1. The game is to 13. The winner either hits 13 or surpasses 13. Either way, it's a win.
2. Each player takes successive turns throwing the football.
3. A player MUST tap the top of the barrel with the football to "start" their turn. The player must be behind the barrel when they tap and must release the ball from behind the barrel. Each player then has 5 secondz to do whatever he would like, but they must throw within 5 secondz or he forfeits their turn. Beer Man specializes in mascot-style dancing in these 5 secondz. Other playerz may choose to show no flare and simply throw the ball after tapping the barrel.
4. If the football strikes the top of the barrel (…excluding the edge of the top…), the player earns 3 pointz.
5. If the football strikes the top edge of the barrel and/or the sidez of the barrel, the player earns 2 pointz.
6. If the football strikes the ground first and then hits the barrel in any way, the player earns 1 point.
7. If the football strikes a barrel in any way and somehow bounces all the way back past the thrower's barrel, the player may retrieve it and -- within 3 secondz -- throw again for an additional turn. This is very rare, but does happen! (...Just ask the Aussies...)
Those are the basic rulez. It's a load of fun and it's harder than you think! However, there are some enhancementz.
Enhancementz
1. A small bulls-eye can be painted on the side of each barrel that faces inward, if desired. If a player strikes the bulls-eye, it is worth 3 pointz. Usually, any strike to the side of the barrel is one or two points accordingly, but the bulls-eye can be used as a 3-point exception.
2. Light a bonfire directly in the middle of the 2 barrelz. This reduces visibility and makes for some fiery fun.
3. A field goal can be erected in the middle of the barrelz above the bonfire. If the field goal is installed, a dropkick can be employed by any player at any time, so long as the dropkick is made from behind the barrel. If the dropkicked ball passes through the uprightz and then strikes the opponent's barrel in any way without touching the ground first, 5 pointz are earned. If a drop kick passes through the field goal, hits the ground, and then bounces into the barrel, no points are on. Drop kickz are all or nothing.
4. A legitimate drum can be used as a barrel or installed on a barrel. This way, when a 3-pointer is made, a loud bass drum strike is heard! Kind of tribal-like!
5. The top of the barrel can be flooded with water, beer, or shaving cream to create more of a mess!
6. An audience hill can be constructed 10 yardz behind each barrel for easy viewing and cheering.
7. A person can play alone. Simply throw, retrieve, then throw back the other way. There's no winner, obviously, but it can be a bit of self-competition to see how many throws it takes to get to 13 -- the fewer the better, of course.
8. As the Aussiez taught us in Brazil, a different game object other than a football can be substituted in with the same rules, etc. Obv, an official AFL footy ball can work!
We truly hope you enjoy this great game as much as we do! Send us picz of your setup! Be sure to send any recommended adjustmentz and/or accommodationz you might make through the into Got Goggz headquarterz!!! (…Though, we do reserve the right to approve or disapprove said adjustmentz in terms of the Official Bonfire Ball Rule Book…)
April 2022