Big Yellow Taxi (1970) - Joni Mitchell
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A Sure Sign Of Armageddon?

by Frederick The Great

 

I think one of the sure-fire ways to tell if a company is dead set on destroying the human experience and demolishing all in the name of profit is their commercial advertisements.

The more vague and brief it is, the more of a red flag it is.

 

Commercial:  A giant whale surfaces in the icy waters.  It flaps its little whale wing and splashes down creating a beautiful wake.

 

Translation:  We're going to try and steal all your money before you die.  Fuck your kids!  We'll rape your bank account with shoddy investments and downright shady economic finagling.

 

Or…

 

Commercial:  Natural wonders -- below the sea and in outer space -- are interspersed with beautiful artistic pieces from museums.  A human, child or other, is gradually introduced in the context of all this.

 

Translation:  We don't give a fuck about your health.  We are a chemical company intent on world domination and pollution!

 

In commercials for medicine, the government mandates that all side effects be verbally uttered in the same pace and tone as the rest of the ad.  Can we make this an across the board rule?  (…Interestingly, the side effect portion of all pharmaceutical ads mirror the visual nature of the examples above…)

 

I think all company convictions should be detailed in their commercials like side effects must be detailed.

 

Imagine:  A beautiful sunset eclipses a family of farmers and they all are then shown around the dinner table feasting on the fruit of the land. 

 

Then -- in the same pace and tone -- a narrator is legally obligated to say: "We paid out millions of dollars two years ago for false advertising in a French court.  Further, we paid out hundreds of millions of dollars to a small community in the southern U.S. due to our willful pollution of their groundwater."

 

How different our world would be!  Ever see that movie with Ricky Gervais called The Invention Of Lying? :))

March 2021