Flake (2001) - Jack Johnson
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The Cheap Crown

 

by Jess

"...So, there's a ton of critique to be aimed at social media sites and their plastic-ization -- I made up that word :) -- of women.  It seems every little outfit and make-up session has to be immortalized with a portrait or degraded by being diluted in a sea of similar imagez -- depending on how you look at it.

But, I'm not putting my feminist crown on right now.  And, obviously, hippie love!  I don't want to be negative, but what's really grinding my gears is the new photo filter that lets you digitally change a photo with a flower crown.  I think it's disrespectful and the stuff of cheap prostitutes!  I'm sorry, but it's what's in my heart.

In my life up 'til now, a flower crown was only for a princess, bride, or fairy queen.  If a woman wanted that look, it was to commemorate something magnificent and beautiful.  It was for a proms, coronations, and fancy balls!  Make your own joke :))

 

When I was younger, I spent an entire day crafting flower crownz for the girls at my church to wear on Easter.  It's really an art.  You have to twist the stems together.  You have to tie them.  The ties themselves can become artistic too.  Like for girls with long hair, I would do blue and pink ribbons but leave them longer so they would stretch and curl up in her hair.  It was a huge investment of time and effort.  One had to secure -- maybe even pick -- their own assortment of flowerz.  Sunflowers.  Dahlias.  Or maybe even go all out with roses!  It was a special process, and it was just as special in how it transformed the look and feel of a dress.

 

But, now, any two-bit whore with a data phone can click a button and make herself out to be the next Snow White or Cinderella.  It's a travesty in my opinion.  It's a stain on fashion.  It's a thorn in the side to all that is formal.  It's a lazy whore's excuse for elegance.

Seriously, hippie love!  But, ladies, before you snap a fake crown on your head, think: would your mother approve?

That said, I love that crown app for guys.  That's some funny shit..."

 

June 2017

© 2021 by Jester House Press

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