TABLE: THOUGHTZ ON STREAKING
A New Record
The objective of a streaker is obviously to shock. They somehow get a rush out of making people's eyez bulge or they think being the jester is their destiny.
But what if we turned the tables on them? Like fanz get together to dress in the same colors or to create a wave, I suggest that one fan base get together to stick it to the streaker.
Everyone show up naked! Then the streaker is totally fucked. The only thing he or she could do is to put their damn clothez on and act like a normal person. It's perfect.
Now since streaking became a phenomenon in 1973, the current record for the largest group streak was established at the University of Georgia, with 1,543 simultaneous streakers on March 7th, 1974.
Depending on the size of the fan base that heeds my call, we could shatter that record! Though I'm not sure it would qualify in the same category. It might be a new record altogether -- the "Most Uncovered Genital Regionz" at a sporting event or something like that.
Either way, it's an admirable goal.
(Not) Gratuitous Nudity
Now I've only seen sports-related streaking on t.v. It seems fun and I can imagine the sensation of it because I often enjoy streaking at home.
That may seem like a watered down version of public streaking, but the stakez of my domestic streaking are raised because I live with my in-lawz. My hubby and I have been together long enough that he has seen my not-so-toned body from every angle. My in-lawz, on the other hand, have only seen that glory once or twice.
I streak at home because I live in an old, old house. It's a ranch-style from the middle of last century, so the residence gets pretty darn cold between October and June. When I get out of the shower and realize I forgot to grab clothez to change into, it's basically streak or let my privatez freeze!
Some nightz, I'll even run around naked in the back yard (...to throw something in the back garbage can, to grab my doggie's food bowl, or to engage in any other task that I could just as easily do three minutez later -- after putting some damn clothez on...). What can I say? I enjoy the thrill of running naked with the night air caressing my naked, primordial body!
I rarely streak in the yard in the day, because I draw the line at letting the average taxpayer get a flash of the unclad jewelz. I'm quite certain no neighborz or distant pedestrianz have ever seen my skin flashing through a gap in the bushez or a crack in the tall fence -- and if I'm mistaken about any of this, no extra charge!
I'm just an organic gal is all :))
The Butt + Ballz Contingency
If I were going to do any streaking -- whether as part of a public event or as part of a filmic project -- I would only show butt and ballz. No stem.
This would take some creative tailoring. I would need to cut my boxer shortz so that my butt crack and ballz could have free reign, but my stem would remain securely fastened and covered.
I'm thinking that the piece of cloth that is cut out of the butt and ballz section could be re-stitched inside the front of the shortz to create a condom-like "pocket" for my stem. This is only theory presently, but I'm convinced it would work perfectly.
In this way, I could streak with full abandon and not be worried that the tip of my stem would somehow dip out and be exposed.
I'm not exactly sure what the line between full cock streaking and "butt and ballz only" streaking is. But I somehow feel more comfortable with it. It's like a tattoo. If you're going to stitch into your skin, you better feel that you can live with it for the rest of your life.
If I saw some old footage of me streaking with my stem out, I don't know that I could justify it. I would think of myself as an uncouth fool. I mean, what about the kidz?
But with butt and ballz only, I feel even my childhood priest could give his blessing. Assuming it was a big game or an important film, respectively.
Get You're Eve On
I'll see Natalie's organic girl and raise her a swim. I can be caught streaking every few weekz. I'm lucky enough to live near a lake and often, after a night of partying, I'll arrive home and make my way down to the lake for a swim. It's too much in my drunken clumsiness to search for a bikini and there's nothing like an "au naturel" swim.
If you've never tried it, be sure to get your Eve on immediately. It really is a totally different feeling than a clothed swim. Especially in the cold water, it creates a weightless feeling underwater and there is a not-yet-birthed vibe as you slide through the water like you've fallen into some kind of womb simulation. I recommend a slightly sub-surface breast stroke -- the flow of water around the Eve region is glorious.